Everybody gets told they look like some celebrity or other, and nobody ever enjoys hearing it, because it is rarely—if ever—a celebrity you’re flattered to look like: hey man you look just like Abe Vigoda! No, I mean when he was young!

Celebrities I get told I look like: Jack Black, Seth Rogen, Kevin Smith, Zach Galifianakis. These are the most common, and I will admit the Kevin Smith one bears some weight—har har—but I usually only get that one when I’m wearing my 6XL hockey jersey and my gigantic baggy shorts. I got Guillermo del Toro once, and yeah, I see that one, too. But mostly it’s just so way off.

The other day I went into a closing-down record store to buy a Donald Fagen CD and the clerk looked over at me and gave me that awful opening line hey, do you know who you look like? and I had to pretend to care. As it turns out, I apparently look “just like” Zak Orth*—to the point that he said he thought I was him when I walked in. He showed me the picture above, which is from Orth’s Wikipedia page, and it became clear to me that when people look at me all they see is a beard and glasses. Literally any other features might as well not exist.

*whose name sounded familiar, but it was not until later I realized he was in Wet Hot American Summer, one of the funniest movies ever.


  1. jamijett said: I think this is true for everyone with a beard and glasses.
  2. hyenabutter posted this